Random Thoughts

At a party tonight the topic of my weight came up as it always does. Almost every day someone comments about my weight. I could get angry but choose to be tolerant of insensitive people.

I hurt the feelings of one of my readers. My first comment ever and it rattled me. I don't blog to hurt people. I am sorry. Please understand, in my experience, western people have become less tolerant of smokers. Now, there are less smokers. However, comparing my grandfathers generation to my generation people have become more tolerant of fat people. Now, there are more fat people.

I wonder if this "tolerance" contributes to obesity in the West? I have lived in Asia for 10 years and have found Asians to be insensitive (less tolerant) of fat people. I wonder if this "insensitivity" contributes to the lower "fatness" of Asians? (This is changing, obesity is on the rise in Asia as well)

Now I am lucky. I have some minor injuries that makes losing weight difficult but not impossible. I know there are people out there that are overweight because of medical conditions like my friend Baba who has thyroid problems. If people are aware of medical conditions and don't make an extra effort to be understanding then those people are very uncivilized, aren't they?

I learned today, my skin is not as thick as I thought.


  1. Thank you for responding to my comment. I was actually feeling pretty down that day, and maybe overreacted a little, too. But it really hurts to think that a person, who's overweight, can blame something like "tolerance" for the increasing weight of people in general.
    You live in Asia. Asian people are generally inclined to be tiny. The Westerners are built to be larger and to pack on pounds quicker, I suppose (so as women are - surprisingly - inclined to keep their gained pounds and it's much harder to drop those for them than it is for men). That's one thing. Another is diet: not as in "pigging out", but as in "We're eating highly processed foods, lots of sugar and salt, fresh fruits & vegetables are more expensive and junk food is marketed very very strongly to us". Actually, even if you do eat fresh poultry, eggs, veggies, you never know the chemicals, hormones, antibiotics, etc. that were sprayed on them, injected into them or digested by the animals, in case of meat. I don't believe it's all neutral to our health and metabolism. We're treated with steroids for allergies... Our jobs are increasingly sedentary and there's less and less time for exercise, we drive everywhere... I could just keep on searching for reasons.
    But whatever they are - it's just sad that someone could think that people are tolerant of the overweight or that's the reason that they never choose to be thin. I get mooed at, teenagers take pictures of me, when I take a walk with my boyfriend, because to them, I look like a freak of nature (I am not even that large - UK size 16). I was mobbed at work because of my appearance. People comment on my weight loudly, sometimes I heard them saying to their kids: If you keep on eating so much, you'll look just like her! Every day I see, read, hear things that try to tell me, that fat is the most disgusting thing ever. So do all the other fat people. Do you call THIS tolerance? Then, I wouldn't like to see what intolerant behaviour means to you. And surely wouldn't like to live in such an intolerant world.
    There isn't ANY tolerance for fat. And if there was, perhaps it would - surprisingly - help tackle the problem. If fat people weren't afraid to go out and take a run in the park, if they weren't treated like freaks of nature on beaches and at swimming pools, if they were able to forget the stress (can contribute to weight gain, too) and wouldn't be judged as slobs.
    You said, that if people are aware of medical conditions, they should make an extra effort and be understanding - sure. But it's hard to walk around with my medical files hanging from my neck for everyone to see. It's hard to say at first glance what the reason for my weight is. I just get the default disgust. Please note, that I think it's not right to experience hatred for weight even if someone really eats a lot and never exercises, the person is still a human being and still deserves respect!
    I think that there are numerous reasons for "weight problems" in the modern world, but tolerance? Not one of them. There's only discrimination and hatred, experienced on a daily basis.
    That's why it's so sad and why your statement touched me so strongly... Never wanted to upset you, though.
    And about smokers - I know dozens of smokers... and it's tolerated, at least in some circles. Among young actors, dancers, singers - everybody smokes. If you go to a pub - everybody smokes. While it's less tolerated by the law - smoking is getting banned from the public zone - it's still quite fashionable... So I see the social tolerance quite differently here.

  2. Paulina, thank you very much for your thoughtful response. I am very interested in what you have to say and wish to talk about it more. Unfortunately, I have time restraints.

    I have 20 minuites now and would like to respond to a few things. Pleae appreciate my thoughts are not well though out at this time. I might change my opinion later.

    Your wrote:

    Asian people are generally inclined to be tiny. The Westerners are built to be larger and to pack on pounds ...

    This might be a generalization. There is obeisity in Asia. But I feel it is a matter of perception. I am shocked when a perfectly healthy looking Asian woman tells me she is fat. In the west she would be skinny. I have had to tell my Wife not to talk about her "weight" problem when we are in the West. She did once and this lady ripped her head off. You she she is not allowed to think for herself - she mush adopt western views of "fatness" when she is in the West" It is very offensive to fat people when she talks about her weight. I love my wife and told her she does not need to lose weight but respect her wish to make her body the way she feels happy. As long as she does not talk about it in the West - her experience of sharing was not a nice one.

    You wrote:

    Another is diet: not as in "pigging out", but as in "We're eating highly processed .....

    I could not agree more. I think people don't talk about this enough. It is not only what we are putting in our bodies...it is what our bodies are not getting any more. We don't get the breadth of minerals etc. as we once did.

    You wrote:

    .. it's just sad that someone could think that people are tolerant of the overweight or that's the reason that they never choose to be thin...

    I am sorry I make you sad. But I do wonder about this. I believe it is true to some degree and will try and expand on it. However, I dont believe people choose not to be thin because it.

    I believe being fat men have it easier than fat women. We have different issues.

    However, we are all human. The thickness of our skin varies. What offends me might not offend someone else. What is an issue for a woman might not be an issue for a man but it might be and vice versa.

    I believe I have a good self esteem. I can laught some things off but it still hurts. I am fat but it never stopped me from going after any girl I pleased. Big small thin fat Asian etc... I never discrimated. (Married now and stopped that)

    Sorry I have run out of time. Thank you for responding. Your comments make me a better blogger - cheers